


Facebook and South Park

by isthisusernametakenaswell



Category: South Park
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 14:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13272942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isthisusernametakenaswell/pseuds/isthisusernametakenaswell
Summary: A series of short Facebook posts and chats from the kids and adults in South Park, along with a few stories from South Park High School.





	1. Chapter 1

**Eric Cartman** thinks that **Kyle Broflovski** is a dirty Jew

 **Kyle Broflovski** stfu fatass

 **Eric Cartman**  EY, I'M NOT FAT! 

 **Liane Cartman** that's right, my poopsiekins is big-boned. 

 **Kyle Broflovski** 'big-boned'? you mean, 'fat'? 

 **Eric Cartman**  AT LEAST I'M NOT A JEW, KYLE!

 **Sheila Broflovski** WHATWHATWHAT?!

 **Butters Stotch**  hello, everyone!

 **Eric Cartman** SHUT UP BUTTERS

 **Kyle Broflovski** ....

 **Kyle Broflovski** the one and only time I will agree with Cartman

 **Stan Marsh** wow we're making history down here

 **Wendy Testaburger** I thought your phone got taken away, _Stan_. 

 **Stan Marsh** oh shit 

 

 **Wendy Testaburger** is now single. ♥ 

- _ **Bebe Stevens** , **Heidi Turner** , **Token Black** , and **103 others** liked this_

 **Stan Marsh** jesus i said i was sorry, Wendy

 **Wendy Testaburger** Sometimes, sorry isn't enough, Stan. You lied to me! 

 **Bebe Stevens** That's right, Wendy! You can just go to hell, Stan! 

 **Stan Marsh** c'mon let's not argue on facebook of all places. 

 **Kyle Broflovski** i have five bucks if anyone wants to bet on when Wendy will take back Stan? 

 **Stan Marsh** wtf dude

 **Token Black** i have ten dollars

 **Clyde Donovan** i only have two dollars. can i still join? 

 **Kenny McCormick** i have one dollar

 **Stan Marsh** SERIOUSLY, GUYS?! 

 

 

 **Butters Stotch** is grounded. 

- _ **Eric Cartman** liked this._

 **Kyle Broflovski** aw, not again, Butters 

 **Steven Stotch** You're on Facebook after your bed time? That's it, mister, you're grounded for two weeks!  

 **Linda Stotch** How could you, Butters? Your bedtime is 9:01, and you know that! 

 **Butters Stotch** oh hamburgers 

 

 

 **Tweek Tweak** > **Craig Tucker**

GAH it's ToO much PRESSURE! I CAN'T DO IT

 **Craig Tucker** > **Tweek Tweak**

honey, it's okay 

 **Tweek Tweak** > **Craig Tucker**

NO IT'S NOT LSJDFLJSDL:FJ:LJSDF 

 **Craig Tucker** > **Tweek Tweak**

fine i'll do it

 **Tweek Tweak** > **Craig Tucker**

NO DON'T DO IT CRAIG 

 

 **Craig Tucker** is in a relationship with **Tweek Tweak**. ♥ 

- _ **Wendy Testaburger,** **Hedi Turner, Bebe Stevens,** and **2,312 others** liked this. _

 **Heidi Turner** omg finally! 

 **Bebe Stevens** I'm so happy for you guys! 

 **Randy Marsh** wow, we finally have our first gay couple! and whole foods just opened up last month

 **Herbert Garrison** IF YOU'RE GAY, YOU GO TO HELL. YOU GO TO HELL, AND YOU DIE! 

 **Eric Cartman** i agree, mr. garrison

 **Tweek Tweak** CRAIG SDFLJSLDFJLJSDFL 

 **Craig Tucker** aw c'mon i couldn't resist 

 **Craig Tucker** Tweek? 

 **Wendy Testaburger** wow, nice going, Craig

 **Craig Tucker** why does this remind me of that time in fourth grade...

 **Craigh Tucker** oh no 


	2. Chapter 2

 

**PC Principal:** Due to a petition by the girl's volleyball team, all volleyball matches are now mandatory for _all_ students. 

- _ **Wendy Testaburger, Heidi Turner, Nicole Daniels** , and **20 others** liked this. _

**Wendy Testaburger** Be sure to come out and support us! 

**Kyle Broflovski** we have to, we don't have a choice 

**Kenny McCormick** they can't do this

**PC Principal** actually, we can 

**Eric Cartman** WHAT?! 

**Eric Cartman** this is not kewl 

 

**Eric Cartman** is now friends with **Satan.**

 

**Eric Cartman > Satan **

Hey, Satan, I'm going to need a favor

**Satan > Eric Cartman**

Oh, so that's why you became friends with me? I feel used :(

**Eric Cartman > Satan**

Listen, I need you to make sure that the volleyball games are permanently canceled 

**Satan > Eric Cartman** 

Well, I could...get a tsunami and destroy the gym..in exchange for your soul. 

**Eric Cartman > Satan**

Oh, breaking my balls, Satan, breaking my balls. 

 

**Eric Cartman** is not going to Wendy's stupid volleyball games

- _ **Butters Stotch, Clyde Donovan, Token Black** and **2,122 others** liked this._

**Kyle Broflovski** dude, there's no way. PC Principal made them mandatory for everyone 

**Stan Marsh** yeah, kyle's right. there's no way we can get out of this anymore

**Eric Cartman** no, guys, I really am not going to Wendih's stupid volleyball games. 

**Kyle Broflovski** lol, keep on dreaming, fatass

**Eric Cartman** i pulled some strings with Satan, everything should be fine now 

**Stan Marsh** you WHAT?!

**Liane Cartman** my little poopsiekins is very resourceful  

 

**Wendy Testaburger** Unfortunately, due to a freak tsunami, the gym has been destroyed. All volleyball matches have been postponed for this season. :'(

- _ **Eric Cartman, Satan, Kyle Broflovski,** and **5,678 others** liked this. _  

**Bebe Stevens** that tsunami really did come out of nowhere 

**Eric Cartman** or did it? hehe  

**Kyle Broflovski** dude, how did you do it?  

**Stan Marsh** yeah, dude, how?  

**Wendy Testaburger** Eric?! Eric, you had something to do with this?! 

**Eric Cartman** that information is between me and Satan 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Clyde Donovan** is in a relationship with **Bebe Stevens.** ♥

- _ **Wendy Testaburger, Token Black, Nicole Daniels** and **3,456 others** liked this._

 **Craig Tucker** ...i never thought this day would come

 **Clyde Donovan** WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME CRAIG

 **Tweek Tweak** aw, it's ok, clyde :) I'm happy for u

 **Craig Tucker** don't encourage him, tweek 

 **Clyde Donovan** FINE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY TACOS 

 **Token Black** hey, leave Clyde alone. this is his moment, let him be happy for a moment

 **Token Black** before bebe dumps him

 **Craig Tucker** ok, mom 

 **Clyde Donovan** aw, thanks mom! 

 **Clyde Donovan** wait a minute

 

 **Officer Barbrady** : Hairy situation down at the police department. :(

_**-Randy Marsh, Sheila Broflovski, Liane Cartman,** and **300 others** liked this. _

**Randy Marsh** almost as hairy as 

 **Thomas Tucker** I dare you, Marsh, I dare you

 **Randy Marsh** ...Craig's mom's bush

 **Randy Marsh** GODDAMNIT

 **Randy Marsh** It was too hard to resist

 **Sharon Marsh** oh, for christ's sake, Randy

**Kenny McCormick:** wow, I feel great! i haven't died ye

_- **Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman** and **890 others** liked this. _

**Kyle Broflovski** Kenny?! 

 **Stuart McCormick** I'm sorry, boys, Kenny was hit by an airplane. Again. 

 **Stuart McCormick** Actually, he was hit by two airplanes and a helicopter. 

 **Stuart McCormick** and a bus

 **Stan Marsh** Oh my god, they killed Kenny! 

 **Kyle Broflovski** You bastards! 

 

 **Wendy Testaburger** is now single. ♥ 

- _ **Token Black** and **Eric Cartman** liked this. _

 **Stan Marsh** stop, wendy, you're making a big deal out of this

 **Wendy Testaburger** Oh, really, Stan? I'm not going to take you back, if that's what you're thinking.

 **Eric Cartman** wait, so, Wendy, you're single? 

 **Eric Cartman** are you looking for a boyfriend? 

 

 **Wendy Testaburger** is in a relationship with **Eric Cartman**. ♥ 

_- **Eric Cartman** liked this. _

**Bebe Stevens** WENDY?! ARE YOU OKAY?! DO YOU NEED ME TO HELP YOU?! ARE YOU DYING?! 

 **Wendy Testaburger** I was desperate. 

 **Wendy Testaburger** very desperate

 **Wendy Testaburger** desperate people make desperate decisions 

 **Stan Marsh** wow. 

 **Wendy Testaburger** Don't you DARE say anything, STAN

 **Stan Marsh** looks like you downgraded

 **Eric Cartman** ey! 

 

 

 

 


End file.
